Gosh it's all good, the food the service, the drinks! But if you sit at the bar the Neon lights at the left corner, the Lite sign primarily is absolutely blinding. Otherwise? Great time, staff and all, Cheers!
Atmosphere: 3
Food: 5
Service: 5
Rachel Marshall
This place was excellent! Friendly and attentive staff, but don’t bother you or make you feel rushed. We felt we really got to enjoy the experience. Drinks I enjoyed: Them Apples and Little Talks Food we shared: Canapé Trio, Oysters, Wild Mushrooms Entrees: Pork Picatta, and their New Years Special; Surf & Turf. Our server was Asher F. and he was so kind. Will definitely go here again!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Shalana Upchurch-Quarles
The drinks were great!. The waitstaff was very helpful. A groupbof 12 of us went and we had a great time. Definitely will be back
Ms May
Fools and Horses in Portland is an absolute gem. From the moment you walk in, you're greeted with a warm, stylish atmosphere that feels both elevated and inviting. The service is friendly, attentive, and genuinely knowledgeable about their menu.
The cocktails are truly the standout here— each one crafted with creativity and precision. Them Apples is a perfect balance of crisp, bright, and refreshing flavors, the kind of drink that instantly lifts your mood. White Noise is smooth, intriguing, and beautifully layered —a great choice if you enjoy cocktails with subtle complexity. And Bowdof Soul is a bold, soulful blend that delivers depth and character in every sip. Each drink feels thoughtfully made, and together they show just how talented the bar team really is.
Whether you're stopping in for a nightcap or planning a full evening out, Fools and Horses delivers an exceptional experience. Highly recommend!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Josie Ribeiro
Not very good drinks.
Atmosphere: 3
Service: 3
Nathan Hale
Great vibes, delicious cocktails, and friendly service.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
lily stricker
Lobster roll????
Atmosphere: 4
Food: 1
Service: 5
Tony Brent
Nestled in the heart of Portland’s cocktail scene, Fools and Horses isn’t just another upscale bar, it’s where my life began anew.
It was Saturday night, and I was off another 60-hour week at my dead-end job, it was beginning to feel like my life was over. I wandered aimlessly downtown through alleys and intersections before the gates of heaven appeared before me.
From the moment I walked in, the ambiance calmed me instantly. Dark wood, low lighting, and a soundtrack that felt curated just for my mood. Everything was calming me down from another long week. I looked around and saw the real Johnny S. Knuckles and knew I was in the right place. But nothing could have prepared me for the resuscitation of my bleak life.
As I walked up to the bar and sat down, my gaze was instantly locked on one thing. On the other side of the bar stood a man, but not just any man, a figure designed by God. A mountain whose inner elbows sent me into a trance. I couldn’t help but fixate on them as he held them proudly in the air shaking up a cocktail. They were shimmering beneath the glow of the back bar, hinting at stories untold, and in that moment, I knew he could tame a dragon with them.
Then the best moment of my life happened, he walked over and introduced himself. Asher. I watched as he dried his hands on a towel, his velvet bends of the arm flexing as he did. It took all my strength to not drop my glass of water as I took a sip. His voice soothed me, but those silken curves beneath the elbow continued to hypnotize me as we began to talk. I opened the menu and pretended to read it all while stealing every look possible at those grand canyons of flesh that would make the Mona Lisa blush.
Every moment I sat there at the bar with Asher in front of me felt like an eternity, as if even time itself was entranced, slowing down to savor every moment. Flustered, I realized I had yet to pick out a drink, I quickly scrambled through the menu of delicious sounding drinks when my eyes caught one, The Local Hero. I knew this was the one for I had just met my hero. I watched as Asher prepared the drink, his tender crook of the arm once again giving a dance that would win gold. He slid the drink across the bar, his soft bends where secrets live inching towards me as I almost collapsed from my seat.
And as I sat there the rest of the night I stared in awe, watching this man whose golden crescents look as if they were crafted by Zeus himself prepare drink after drink. People talked about it in hushed tones, like sailors sharing tales of sirens. If charisma could be weaponized, these inner altars of forearm lust would need a liquor license and a permit from the Department of Defense.
As I began to leave, I stole one last look as I walked out the door, and I knew life was worth living again. Thank you Fools and Horses, I will always be back to be serenaded by Asher’s inner elbows, my local hero.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
T Taylor
I arranged a reservation with Amanda for a group of six all retired women. The service, drinks and food were perfect. Everyone enjoyed the ambiance and the attention to detail that was offered by the establishment. The bartender was especially helpful in ordering drinks and food. We will be back.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Brandon Van Norman
Remarkable atmosphere and live music. Megan took such great care of us in the chaos, making a special evening that much more memorable. Cannot wait to come back to enjoy the drinks and try the food!
Used to be our favorite bar in Portland but unfortunately they keep changing their drink menu. The newer cocktail menu(s) has been mediocre and they keep discontinuing all of their quality recipes. They also used to have a fully stocked bourbon collection but their shelves have been sparse. Food, service and atmosphere are still great. I’m just not sure what happened to this place or who’s in charge of their menu/inventory. Very disappointing.
Atmosphere: 4
Food: 4
Service: 4
Sandra Veresink
Got a few drinks in the bar area. Great atmosphere and a lovely drink menu. Would recommend.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Dianne Namgung
Ive always enjoyed the cocktails here! During happy hour from 4-6 its $2 off everything on menu (excluding oysters). I'll typically try a few different cocktails. Last night I had the curry favor, the twist on marg with an amazing salt foam, and a filthy martini. All were great. Its a perfect spot to have a few rounds before going to 1st thursday as well.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Raymond Harkey
I've come here a few times for drinks and am always impressed. This time, my husband I decided to do dinner and drinks. We got the steak fries, panzanella salad, and bison meatballs. Steak was cooked to perfection and seasoned incredibly well. Bison meatballs were juicy and tender, and paired very nicely with the polenta. The panzanella salad was fresh and vibrant. We both loved our cocktails. I got the Basilica, and hubby got a tequila drink with peach and Aperol and a salted lime foam that was to die for. We will be back!
Gosh it's all good, the food the service, the drinks! But if you sit at the bar the Neon lights at the left corner, the Lite sign primarily is absolutely blinding. Otherwise? Great time, staff and all, Cheers!
Atmosphere: 3
Food: 5
Service: 5
This place was excellent!
Friendly and attentive staff, but don’t bother you or make you feel rushed. We felt we really got to enjoy the experience.
Drinks I enjoyed: Them Apples and Little Talks
Food we shared: Canapé Trio, Oysters, Wild Mushrooms
Entrees: Pork Picatta, and their New Years Special; Surf & Turf.
Our server was Asher F. and he was so kind.
Will definitely go here again!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
The drinks were great!. The waitstaff was very helpful. A groupbof 12 of us went and we had a great time. Definitely will be back
Fools and Horses in Portland is an absolute gem. From the moment you walk in, you're greeted with a warm, stylish atmosphere that feels both elevated and inviting. The service is friendly, attentive, and genuinely knowledgeable about their menu.
The cocktails are truly the standout here— each one crafted with creativity and precision. Them Apples is a perfect balance of crisp, bright, and refreshing flavors, the kind of drink that instantly lifts your mood. White Noise is smooth, intriguing, and beautifully layered —a great choice if you enjoy cocktails with subtle complexity. And Bowdof Soul is a bold, soulful blend that delivers depth and character in every sip. Each drink feels thoughtfully made, and together they show just how talented the bar team really is.
Whether you're stopping in for a nightcap or planning a full evening out, Fools and Horses delivers an exceptional experience. Highly recommend!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Not very good drinks.
Atmosphere: 3
Service: 3
Great vibes, delicious cocktails, and friendly service.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Lobster roll????
Atmosphere: 4
Food: 1
Service: 5
Nestled in the heart of Portland’s cocktail scene, Fools and Horses isn’t just another upscale bar, it’s where my life began anew.
It was Saturday night, and I was off another 60-hour week at my dead-end job, it was beginning to feel like my life was over. I wandered aimlessly downtown through alleys and intersections before the gates of heaven appeared before me.
From the moment I walked in, the ambiance calmed me instantly. Dark wood, low lighting, and a soundtrack that felt curated just for my mood. Everything was calming me down from another long week. I looked around and saw the real Johnny S. Knuckles and knew I was in the right place. But nothing could have prepared me for the resuscitation of my bleak life.
As I walked up to the bar and sat down, my gaze was instantly locked on one thing. On the other side of the bar stood a man, but not just any man, a figure designed by God. A mountain whose inner elbows sent me into a trance. I couldn’t help but fixate on them as he held them proudly in the air shaking up a cocktail. They were shimmering beneath the glow of the back bar, hinting at stories untold, and in that moment, I knew he could tame a dragon with them.
Then the best moment of my life happened, he walked over and introduced himself. Asher. I watched as he dried his hands on a towel, his velvet bends of the arm flexing as he did. It took all my strength to not drop my glass of water as I took a sip. His voice soothed me, but those silken curves beneath the elbow continued to hypnotize me as we began to talk. I opened the menu and pretended to read it all while stealing every look possible at those grand canyons of flesh that would make the Mona Lisa blush.
Every moment I sat there at the bar with Asher in front of me felt like an eternity, as if even time itself was entranced, slowing down to savor every moment. Flustered, I realized I had yet to pick out a drink, I quickly scrambled through the menu of delicious sounding drinks when my eyes caught one, The Local Hero. I knew this was the one for I had just met my hero. I watched as Asher prepared the drink, his tender crook of the arm once again giving a dance that would win gold. He slid the drink across the bar, his soft bends where secrets live inching towards me as I almost collapsed from my seat.
And as I sat there the rest of the night I stared in awe, watching this man whose golden crescents look as if they were crafted by Zeus himself prepare drink after drink. People talked about it in hushed tones, like sailors sharing tales of sirens. If charisma could be weaponized, these inner altars of forearm lust would need a liquor license and a permit from the Department of Defense.
As I began to leave, I stole one last look as I walked out the door, and I knew life was worth living again. Thank you Fools and Horses, I will always be back to be serenaded by Asher’s inner elbows, my local hero.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
I arranged a reservation with Amanda for a group of six all retired women. The service, drinks and food were perfect. Everyone enjoyed the ambiance and the attention to detail that was offered by the establishment. The bartender was especially helpful in ordering drinks and food. We will be back.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Remarkable atmosphere and live music. Megan took such great care of us in the chaos, making a special evening that much more memorable. Cannot wait to come back to enjoy the drinks and try the food!
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Restaurantji Recommends
Good selection
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Used to be our favorite bar in Portland but unfortunately they keep changing their drink menu. The newer cocktail menu(s) has been mediocre and they keep discontinuing all of their quality recipes. They also used to have a fully stocked bourbon collection but their shelves have been sparse. Food, service and atmosphere are still great. I’m just not sure what happened to this place or who’s in charge of their menu/inventory. Very disappointing.
Atmosphere: 4
Food: 4
Service: 4
Got a few drinks in the bar area. Great atmosphere and a lovely drink menu. Would recommend.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Ive always enjoyed the cocktails here! During happy hour from 4-6 its $2 off everything on menu (excluding oysters). I'll typically try a few different cocktails. Last night I had the curry favor, the twist on marg with an amazing salt foam, and a filthy martini. All were great. Its a perfect spot to have a few rounds before going to 1st thursday as well.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
I've come here a few times for drinks and am always impressed. This time, my husband I decided to do dinner and drinks. We got the steak fries, panzanella salad, and bison meatballs. Steak was cooked to perfection and seasoned incredibly well. Bison meatballs were juicy and tender, and paired very nicely with the polenta. The panzanella salad was fresh and vibrant. We both loved our cocktails. I got the Basilica, and hubby got a tequila drink with peach and Aperol and a salted lime foam that was to die for. We will be back!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
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