Great vibes, delicious cocktails, and friendly service.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
lily stricker
Lobster roll????
Atmosphere: 4
Food: 1
Service: 5
Tony Brent
Nestled in the heart of Portland’s cocktail scene, Fools and Horses isn’t just another upscale bar, it’s where my life began anew.
It was Saturday night, and I was off another 60-hour week at my dead-end job, it was beginning to feel like my life was over. I wandered aimlessly downtown through alleys and intersections before the gates of heaven appeared before me.
From the moment I walked in, the ambiance calmed me instantly. Dark wood, low lighting, and a soundtrack that felt curated just for my mood. Everything was calming me down from another long week. I looked around and saw the real Johnny S. Knuckles and knew I was in the right place. But nothing could have prepared me for the resuscitation of my bleak life.
As I walked up to the bar and sat down, my gaze was instantly locked on one thing. On the other side of the bar stood a man, but not just any man, a figure designed by God. A mountain whose inner elbows sent me into a trance. I couldn’t help but fixate on them as he held them proudly in the air shaking up a cocktail. They were shimmering beneath the glow of the back bar, hinting at stories untold, and in that moment, I knew he could tame a dragon with them.
Then the best moment of my life happened, he walked over and introduced himself. Asher. I watched as he dried his hands on a towel, his velvet bends of the arm flexing as he did. It took all my strength to not drop my glass of water as I took a sip. His voice soothed me, but those silken curves beneath the elbow continued to hypnotize me as we began to talk. I opened the menu and pretended to read it all while stealing every look possible at those grand canyons of flesh that would make the Mona Lisa blush.
Every moment I sat there at the bar with Asher in front of me felt like an eternity, as if even time itself was entranced, slowing down to savor every moment. Flustered, I realized I had yet to pick out a drink, I quickly scrambled through the menu of delicious sounding drinks when my eyes caught one, The Local Hero. I knew this was the one for I had just met my hero. I watched as Asher prepared the drink, his tender crook of the arm once again giving a dance that would win gold. He slid the drink across the bar, his soft bends where secrets live inching towards me as I almost collapsed from my seat.
And as I sat there the rest of the night I stared in awe, watching this man whose golden crescents look as if they were crafted by Zeus himself prepare drink after drink. People talked about it in hushed tones, like sailors sharing tales of sirens. If charisma could be weaponized, these inner altars of forearm lust would need a liquor license and a permit from the Department of Defense.
As I began to leave, I stole one last look as I walked out the door, and I knew life was worth living again. Thank you Fools and Horses, I will always be back to be serenaded by Asher’s inner elbows, my local hero.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
T Taylor
I arranged a reservation with Amanda for a group of six all retired women. The service, drinks and food were perfect. Everyone enjoyed the ambiance and the attention to detail that was offered by the establishment. The bartender was especially helpful in ordering drinks and food. We will be back.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Brandon Van Norman
Remarkable atmosphere and live music. Megan took such great care of us in the chaos, making a special evening that much more memorable. Cannot wait to come back to enjoy the drinks and try the food!
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Will Rollings
Good selection
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Ray Netter
Used to be our favorite bar in Portland but unfortunately they keep changing their drink menu. The newer cocktail menu(s) has been mediocre and they keep discontinuing all of their quality recipes. They also used to have a fully stocked bourbon collection but their shelves have been sparse. Food, service and atmosphere are still great. I’m just not sure what happened to this place or who’s in charge of their menu/inventory. Very disappointing.
Atmosphere: 4
Food: 4
Service: 4
Sandra Veresink
Got a few drinks in the bar area. Great atmosphere and a lovely drink menu. Would recommend.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Dianne Namgung
Ive always enjoyed the cocktails here! During happy hour from 4-6 its $2 off everything on menu (excluding oysters). I'll typically try a few different cocktails. Last night I had the curry favor, the twist on marg with an amazing salt foam, and a filthy martini. All were great. Its a perfect spot to have a few rounds before going to 1st thursday as well.
I've come here a few times for drinks and am always impressed. This time, my husband I decided to do dinner and drinks. We got the steak fries, panzanella salad, and bison meatballs. Steak was cooked to perfection and seasoned incredibly well. Bison meatballs were juicy and tender, and paired very nicely with the polenta. The panzanella salad was fresh and vibrant. We both loved our cocktails. I got the Basilica, and hubby got a tequila drink with peach and Aperol and a salted lime foam that was to die for. We will be back!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Milan Donhowe
ASHER FLEMING I LOVE ASHER FLEMING ASHER FLEMING ASHER FLEMING ASHER FLEMING ASHER FLEIMNGGGGGG11!!!!!11!!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Aurélia Blankenship
Oysters were good and drinks were exceptional. I also tried steak and bison meatballs—everything was delicious. Service was fast and so friendly. I’ll definitely be back!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Jen Rodriguez
Wow $81 bill for two drinks and a dozen oysters with a surprise 4% service fee for service that was good but not incredible. Everything was excellent but this is TOO EXPENSIVE.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 3
Service: 3
Andrea F
I didn't get any food, but it looked pretty awesome. Coming from out of town, I was ready to try some new things in this foodie town. Fools and Horses didn't disappoint. The environment is beautiful, and they fortunately had a table available. Everything nearby was pretty packed. The drinks were amazing--inventive, flavorful, excellent presentation, delicious. Highly impressed at the first bar we tried.
Not very good drinks.
Atmosphere: 3
Service: 3
Great vibes, delicious cocktails, and friendly service.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Lobster roll????
Atmosphere: 4
Food: 1
Service: 5
Nestled in the heart of Portland’s cocktail scene, Fools and Horses isn’t just another upscale bar, it’s where my life began anew.
It was Saturday night, and I was off another 60-hour week at my dead-end job, it was beginning to feel like my life was over. I wandered aimlessly downtown through alleys and intersections before the gates of heaven appeared before me.
From the moment I walked in, the ambiance calmed me instantly. Dark wood, low lighting, and a soundtrack that felt curated just for my mood. Everything was calming me down from another long week. I looked around and saw the real Johnny S. Knuckles and knew I was in the right place. But nothing could have prepared me for the resuscitation of my bleak life.
As I walked up to the bar and sat down, my gaze was instantly locked on one thing. On the other side of the bar stood a man, but not just any man, a figure designed by God. A mountain whose inner elbows sent me into a trance. I couldn’t help but fixate on them as he held them proudly in the air shaking up a cocktail. They were shimmering beneath the glow of the back bar, hinting at stories untold, and in that moment, I knew he could tame a dragon with them.
Then the best moment of my life happened, he walked over and introduced himself. Asher. I watched as he dried his hands on a towel, his velvet bends of the arm flexing as he did. It took all my strength to not drop my glass of water as I took a sip. His voice soothed me, but those silken curves beneath the elbow continued to hypnotize me as we began to talk. I opened the menu and pretended to read it all while stealing every look possible at those grand canyons of flesh that would make the Mona Lisa blush.
Every moment I sat there at the bar with Asher in front of me felt like an eternity, as if even time itself was entranced, slowing down to savor every moment. Flustered, I realized I had yet to pick out a drink, I quickly scrambled through the menu of delicious sounding drinks when my eyes caught one, The Local Hero. I knew this was the one for I had just met my hero. I watched as Asher prepared the drink, his tender crook of the arm once again giving a dance that would win gold. He slid the drink across the bar, his soft bends where secrets live inching towards me as I almost collapsed from my seat.
And as I sat there the rest of the night I stared in awe, watching this man whose golden crescents look as if they were crafted by Zeus himself prepare drink after drink. People talked about it in hushed tones, like sailors sharing tales of sirens. If charisma could be weaponized, these inner altars of forearm lust would need a liquor license and a permit from the Department of Defense.
As I began to leave, I stole one last look as I walked out the door, and I knew life was worth living again. Thank you Fools and Horses, I will always be back to be serenaded by Asher’s inner elbows, my local hero.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
I arranged a reservation with Amanda for a group of six all retired women. The service, drinks and food were perfect. Everyone enjoyed the ambiance and the attention to detail that was offered by the establishment. The bartender was especially helpful in ordering drinks and food. We will be back.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Remarkable atmosphere and live music. Megan took such great care of us in the chaos, making a special evening that much more memorable. Cannot wait to come back to enjoy the drinks and try the food!
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Good selection
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Used to be our favorite bar in Portland but unfortunately they keep changing their drink menu. The newer cocktail menu(s) has been mediocre and they keep discontinuing all of their quality recipes. They also used to have a fully stocked bourbon collection but their shelves have been sparse. Food, service and atmosphere are still great. I’m just not sure what happened to this place or who’s in charge of their menu/inventory. Very disappointing.
Atmosphere: 4
Food: 4
Service: 4
Got a few drinks in the bar area. Great atmosphere and a lovely drink menu. Would recommend.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Ive always enjoyed the cocktails here! During happy hour from 4-6 its $2 off everything on menu (excluding oysters). I'll typically try a few different cocktails. Last night I had the curry favor, the twist on marg with an amazing salt foam, and a filthy martini. All were great. Its a perfect spot to have a few rounds before going to 1st thursday as well.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Restaurantji Recommends
I've come here a few times for drinks and am always impressed. This time, my husband I decided to do dinner and drinks. We got the steak fries, panzanella salad, and bison meatballs. Steak was cooked to perfection and seasoned incredibly well. Bison meatballs were juicy and tender, and paired very nicely with the polenta. The panzanella salad was fresh and vibrant. We both loved our cocktails. I got the Basilica, and hubby got a tequila drink with peach and Aperol and a salted lime foam that was to die for. We will be back!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
ASHER FLEMING I LOVE ASHER FLEMING ASHER FLEMING ASHER FLEMING ASHER FLEMING ASHER FLEIMNGGGGGG11!!!!!11!!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Oysters were good and drinks were exceptional. I also tried steak and bison meatballs—everything was delicious. Service was fast and so friendly. I’ll definitely be back!
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Wow $81 bill for two drinks and a dozen oysters with a surprise 4% service fee for service that was good but not incredible. Everything was excellent but this is TOO EXPENSIVE.
Atmosphere: 5
Food: 3
Service: 3
I didn't get any food, but it looked pretty awesome. Coming from out of town, I was ready to try some new things in this foodie town. Fools and Horses didn't disappoint. The environment is beautiful, and they fortunately had a table available. Everything nearby was pretty packed. The drinks were amazing--inventive, flavorful, excellent presentation, delicious. Highly impressed at the first bar we tried.
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 5
Loading...