Chinese Restaurants in Wolseley, SK

“The Gastronomico-Astral Voyage, an experience described by Mtre. McNutt

To cite this experience: McNutt, R. (2024). “Hey Guys, I Guess That’s It.” (2nd ed.). University of Thunder Bay University Press. p. 1-10.

During my incredible campaign, accompanied by my traveling companion, noble knight, Antoine Rodrigue, we stopped, during one of the most beautiful mornings in Saskatchewan, in the warm village of Wolseley, whose mistral agitated the sylvan creatures .

How dismayed we were, during our visit, to see that the pastry chefs of this suave town were on their day off. It was then that city dwellers, whose kindness escapes us, offered us, in a velvety manner, to welcome us with open arms in this restaurant, called "Canada Cafe". It is then that we enter into what will be one of the most intense adventures of our existence. As Jean-Paul Sartre said: "Human life begins on the other side of despair"...

We then enter this dungeon of Asian food, whose facade is similar to the sublime Westwerk in Aachen. We were alone, along with a group of cheerful villagers. Kicking off, a miasmatic waitress offers us to sit at a table, near the clear path. The aura offered to us by this chosen place filled us with joy, being able to observe the hamlet of Wolseley.

This is how a dramatic twist occurs in our story...

I order an "omelette" at a more than low price. To be precise, this merciful frichti displayed a price, similar to a few Canadian crowns. My companion, Mtre Rodrigue, ordered a terrible snack: a “beef sandwich”. Monumental error on his part...

The waitress, with her angelic hands, wrote our order under a piece of paper. She left alone, accompanied by her papyrus where it was "omelette" and "beef sandwich", towards the kitchen.

We were waiting...

One minute... Two minutes... Five minutes... Ten minutes... Forty minutes... One hour...

An eternity passed...

Our bellies were constantly gurgling. We couldn't wait to experience the local delicacies of this appalling restaurant.

Suddenly, the waitress, with a halo from the heavens, brought us our divine meal. I said divine...I meant nightmarish. We were at the gates of hell.

“The omelette” was impeccably presented. But, for the “beef sandwich”, it was a different story.

This was made from a poor loaf of bread, wet in the water from the sewers of Venice, during the bubonic plague. On top of the bread, there was a sauce. This sauce came from the miasmas of London in the 18th century, giving a completely mephitic taste. The odor that was given off was so nauseating that I would not even have wished the most malicious of my enemies to have an exhalation of it. Above this gluttonous masquerade, there were three slices, supposedly of "beef", but which in reality looked like the corpse of a putrid skunk. There was real trash on the plate.

Due to the unbearable hunger, my companion had the courage to devour everything, with the help of a mentholated nose plug as well as "Febreeze". It was the fight of his life. He emerged victorious, but at what cost...

A stomach ache seized him, as the most deadly gases came out of his lower orifice. They were the most appalling and traumatic smells a human could have ever experienced. Our car smelled like THE DEVIL!

He shit his mother the last two days. A real waterfall lay from his asshole.

So, I put the note for

“the omelette”: 8/10

"the beef sandwich": N/A, because not a "beef sandwich"“