“If you’re looking for a winery experience that’s equal parts charming, confusing, and mildly feral—look no further than Stonefield Cellars. Upon arrival, we were greeted by a gang of chickens that were clearly going through an identity crisis. With their suspiciously featherless necks and judgmental stares, they strutted around like buzzards on vacation. I’m not saying they were plotting something, but I did hear one cluck in Morse code.
The grounds had what I’d call a rustic chaos—think “secret garden” but if the gardener was legally blind and using a weed whacker as a cane. There’s an ambiance of wild freedom here, like nature just gave up halfway and decided to let it ride.
Enter Cooper: the feline face of the operation. He’s friendly, fluffy, and the kind of cat that insists on being involved in every single moment of your wine tasting. Pet me. Look at me. Talk to me. Honestly, Cooper has stronger customer service skills than half the people I’ve met in retail. He deserves his own tip jar.
Now to the wine—decent, though the prices made me question if I was buying the bottle or a small vineyard in France. And just when I thought I’d be sipping from elegant glassware, out came the plastic Chinet cups. Nothing says “bougie on a budget” quite like swirling a $12 wine in what looks like leftover wedding receptionware.
To pair with this upscale picnic experience? Cheese and crackers from a plastic container and a box. And I don’t mean a charming little charcuterie kit. No, I’m pretty sure I saw a staff member emerge from the back with a box of Ritz and a Target bag of cheddar cubes. We’re talking “aisle five, near the Lunchables” level cuisine.
But to be fair—the staff was absolutely lovely. Genuinely helpful, incredibly sweet, and totally committed to making sure you enjoy your stay…even if you’re dodging buzzard-chickens and chasing Cooper off every five minutes.
Would I come back? Absolutely. But next time, I’m bringing my own wine glass, my gardening shears, and maybe a feather boa so the chickens stop trying to recruit me.“
“If you’re looking for a winery experience that’s equal parts charming, confusing, and mildly feral—look no further than Stonefield Cellars. Upon arrival, we were greeted by a gang of chickens that were clearly going through an identity crisis. With their suspiciously featherless necks and judgmental stares, they strutted around like buzzards on vacation. I’m not saying they were plotting something, but I did hear one cluck in Morse code.
The grounds had what I’d call a rustic chaos—think “secret garden” but if the gardener was legally blind and using a weed whacker as a cane. There’s an ambiance of wild freedom here, like nature just gave up halfway and decided to let it ride.
Enter Cooper: the feline face of the operation. He’s friendly, fluffy, and the kind of cat that insists on being involved in every single moment of your wine tasting. Pet me. Look at me. Talk to me. Honestly, Cooper has stronger customer service skills than half the people I’ve met in retail. He deserves his own tip jar.
Now to the wine—decent, though the prices made me question if I was buying the bottle or a small vineyard in France. And just when I thought I’d be sipping from elegant glassware, out came the plastic Chinet cups. Nothing says “bougie on a budget” quite like swirling a $12 wine in what looks like leftover wedding receptionware.
To pair with this upscale picnic experience? Cheese and crackers from a plastic container and a box. And I don’t mean a charming little charcuterie kit. No, I’m pretty sure I saw a staff member emerge from the back with a box of Ritz and a Target bag of cheddar cubes. We’re talking “aisle five, near the Lunchables” level cuisine.
But to be fair—the staff was absolutely lovely. Genuinely helpful, incredibly sweet, and totally committed to making sure you enjoy your stay…even if you’re dodging buzzard-chickens and chasing Cooper off every five minutes.
Would I come back? Absolutely. But next time, I’m bringing my own wine glass, my gardening shears, and maybe a feather boa so the chickens stop trying to recruit me.“