Prepare to get nickled and dimed to the moon and back! My partner and I saw Ashley Gavin here, and more than anything else I’m glad that we could see such an underrated performer. However, our experience with the venue was extremely off putting.
I’ve been to places that require a minimum amount of purchases. I’ve also been to places with assigned seating. What I have not experienced is being shoved into the very back of a large room (despite my partner and I being short), sat one behind the other rather than side to side, directly behind a much taller person who was completely blocking our view. We were informed that another couple would be taking the other half of the table, also with one person facing the other’s back. Because, you see, Helium still wanted to see if they could squeeze a few more pennies out of us. We were asked if we wanted to “upgrade” to better seats twice by staff. We declined as we were not trying to spend even more after paying for the tickets and the two item per person minimum. I saw plenty of people getting sat closer to the stage after us, so I guess we were the big losers of that night’s lottery.
I know that venues have to make money and that most comedians don’t have much of choice for venues, even in cities like Portland. If your underground favorite is in town and this is the only venue they can book, then you should still support them. That being said, Helium sucks as a business and I hope better venues continue to emerge in the future.
EDIT: lol Helium responded without reading my review. I hardly even mentioned the two item minimum. The problem was that they shoved my partner and I into a corner, in front of a pole, sharing a very small table with two strangers.
Laysha Quean
Management took extreme care of me. Customer service is exceptional. The talent is always amazing!
D H
Great time great show can't wait to come back
Natasha Foster
Has never disappointed me. And I've been visiting since 2017! The comics that come here are always awesome, the food is always good, and the drinks are to die for. The service is amazing and so are the prices - for food, drinks AND tickets!
Trey Delcamp
I came to the Neon Helium club to watch Ted Alexandro and everything; all three acts, the service, and the food were great! I'd highly recommend coming here to have a great experience
Tom Fernwault
What a great spot! Great drinks friendly staff! Saw Nick Swardson, that dude is hilarious!
Amber Robbins
It's important to make the distinction that the comedian performing has nothing to do with this business. We thoroughly enjoyed our show. The comedian was amazing! But, the club? Nope. Pretty run down and didn't seem well ventilated. The layout is weird and not well labeled where places like that rooms are (which were clean!) Staff were very nice & friendly, accommodating which helped a lot. But my biggest gripe is this: 2 item minimum once inside the room for the performance. This is absurd. You're waiting for over an hour in their lounge, drinking & spending money; you've paid money for the tickets; and now I'm obligated to spend another $50ish on disgusting food? You can't even get water without spending money. It's all bar food which is fried or greasy or unhealthy. Ordering a salad from a place like this is asking for food poisoning since their bread & butter is fried garbage. Twelve dollars for pretzel bites? It's just dough! The 2 item minimum is PER PERSON, not per table. Plus we came to a 10pm show. Who eats that late? It will take a stellar comedian for me to come back. This place just wants to rob you of your money.
Poli Hernandez
Great club great food great staff great atmosphere I recommend it 💯
Kevin Foster
Oof, I don’t like to leave bad reviews, but this one is necessary. Josh Johnson was awesome, but Helium kinda killed the vibe. Everything here seemed to be designed around making money and not the experience. A two food/drink per person minimum that wasn’t announced until we got to will call (with overpriced bar food at best and waiters running around the whole show). They sat us against the front wall basically behind the comedians, then we went to the bathroom and they’d filled our table. Luckily we got a better spot, but it was at a table where they wanted to seat us with random people. Wouldn’t be an issue except some of those random people would’ve had their view partially blocked by a wall. Two guys literally turned down those seats because they were so ridiculous. There are various other things that were rough, but I digress. The workers were all fine and I hope they get paid well for having to weave through a crowd that’s been packed in like sardines. Just crappy business practices I assume are put in place because there isn’t much competition in the area. Wish I could leave a better review but it was very disappointing.
edit: two-item minimum is in the email as they said, so I'll give them that. Still think it's not a great practice given the quality/price of the food.
The show was great, but the two item minimum was a surprise to me. When I bought the tickets there was no mention until the email the night before the show when we already had reservations elsewhere for food.
Scott Pierce
The carpet in one of the bars was sticky. Beer was not that cold and I would bet the lines could use some cleaning.
Roman Johnston
The show was amazing. The food I ordered pretzel bites and they had deep fried them. So they were all oily. I asked for a refund and they said they can't offer a refund. They can only offer a percentage coupon. That didn't set too well with me, but it's a great place to see some great acts.
Jen Estrada
Great experience from buying tickets to getting seated and served. We saw Josh Johnson there and the show was fantastic from the opening acts to his set. ❤️
Prepare to get nickled and dimed to the moon and back! My partner and I saw Ashley Gavin here, and more than anything else I’m glad that we could see such an underrated performer. However, our experience with the venue was extremely off putting.
I’ve been to places that require a minimum amount of purchases. I’ve also been to places with assigned seating. What I have not experienced is being shoved into the very back of a large room (despite my partner and I being short), sat one behind the other rather than side to side, directly behind a much taller person who was completely blocking our view. We were informed that another couple would be taking the other half of the table, also with one person facing the other’s back. Because, you see, Helium still wanted to see if they could squeeze a few more pennies out of us. We were asked if we wanted to “upgrade” to better seats twice by staff. We declined as we were not trying to spend even more after paying for the tickets and the two item per person minimum. I saw plenty of people getting sat closer to the stage after us, so I guess we were the big losers of that night’s lottery.
I know that venues have to make money and that most comedians don’t have much of choice for venues, even in cities like Portland. If your underground favorite is in town and this is the only venue they can book, then you should still support them. That being said, Helium sucks as a business and I hope better venues continue to emerge in the future.
EDIT: lol Helium responded without reading my review. I hardly even mentioned the two item minimum. The problem was that they shoved my partner and I into a corner, in front of a pole, sharing a very small table with two strangers.
Management took extreme care of me. Customer service is exceptional. The talent is always amazing!
Great time great show can't wait to come back
Has never disappointed me. And I've been visiting since 2017! The comics that come here are always awesome, the food is always good, and the drinks are to die for. The service is amazing and so are the prices - for food, drinks AND tickets!
I came to the Neon Helium club to watch Ted Alexandro and everything; all three acts, the service, and the food were great! I'd highly recommend coming here to have a great experience
What a great spot! Great drinks friendly staff! Saw Nick Swardson, that dude is hilarious!
It's important to make the distinction that the comedian performing has nothing to do with this business. We thoroughly enjoyed our show. The comedian was amazing! But, the club? Nope. Pretty run down and didn't seem well ventilated. The layout is weird and not well labeled where places like that rooms are (which were clean!) Staff were very nice & friendly, accommodating which helped a lot. But my biggest gripe is this: 2 item minimum once inside the room for the performance. This is absurd. You're waiting for over an hour in their lounge, drinking & spending money; you've paid money for the tickets; and now I'm obligated to spend another $50ish on disgusting food? You can't even get water without spending money. It's all bar food which is fried or greasy or unhealthy. Ordering a salad from a place like this is asking for food poisoning since their bread & butter is fried garbage. Twelve dollars for pretzel bites? It's just dough! The 2 item minimum is PER PERSON, not per table. Plus we came to a 10pm show. Who eats that late? It will take a stellar comedian for me to come back. This place just wants to rob you of your money.
Great club great food great staff great atmosphere I recommend it 💯
Oof, I don’t like to leave bad reviews, but this one is necessary. Josh Johnson was awesome, but Helium kinda killed the vibe. Everything here seemed to be designed around making money and not the experience. A two food/drink per person minimum that wasn’t announced until we got to will call (with overpriced bar food at best and waiters running around the whole show). They sat us against the front wall basically behind the comedians, then we went to the bathroom and they’d filled our table. Luckily we got a better spot, but it was at a table where they wanted to seat us with random people. Wouldn’t be an issue except some of those random people would’ve had their view partially blocked by a wall. Two guys literally turned down those seats because they were so ridiculous. There are various other things that were rough, but I digress. The workers were all fine and I hope they get paid well for having to weave through a crowd that’s been packed in like sardines. Just crappy business practices I assume are put in place because there isn’t much competition in the area. Wish I could leave a better review but it was very disappointing.
edit: two-item minimum is in the email as they said, so I'll give them that. Still think it's not a great practice given the quality/price of the food.
Great show, great syaff.
Restaurantji Recommends
Excellent venue to watch some awesome comedy.
The show was great, but the two item minimum was a surprise to me. When I bought the tickets there was no mention until the email the night before the show when we already had reservations elsewhere for food.
The carpet in one of the bars was sticky. Beer was not that cold and I would bet the lines could use some cleaning.
The show was amazing. The food I ordered pretzel bites and they had deep fried them. So they were all oily. I asked for a refund and they said they can't offer a refund. They can only offer a percentage coupon. That didn't set too well with me, but it's a great place to see some great acts.
Great experience from buying tickets to getting seated and served. We saw Josh Johnson there and the show was fantastic from the opening acts to his set. ❤️
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