Kale Me Crazy | Health food restaurant Houston

Why a 1-star review after 5 stars for food, service, and atmosphere? Because, though they were open in between, at least three times I arrived to find a sign that read “closed at 3 due to staff emergency.” Ok, no complaints there, of course! Emergencies happen and I liked the staff a lot. I was concerned for them.BUT…I loved this place so much that, having come there practically every day for months, the kind server gave me the bad news that they’d be permanently closing the following Tuesday. I came in the day before they were meant to close down and said I’d sure miss coming in there but I hoped that the server had something else lined up for after they closed.The owner was there and the server was immediately scolded in front of me for saying that to a customer then followed me out for a kind conversation during which she said the server was wrong, that they were absolutely not closing, that she didn’t know where the server got that idea, asked me to please keep coming, then gave me a free turmeric shot for being a regular.THEN…I decided to give my wallet a break and waited a few days before coming back, which I did maybe 4-5 days after I had been told they were closing permanently.They had that ”closed at three due to staff emergency” sign up for weeks, without fail.Sometimes just to check, I would stop by well before three, and that same sign was up. After a couple of weeks off, I tried one last time and arrived to find the sign still there, but now it was paired with an eviction notice saying that the locks had been changed for nonpayment of back-rent.Maybe they’ve caught up on rent, maybe they’ve stopped putting misleading signs on their front door, maybe they’re open again. I don’t really care.I loved this place. But I hated that I could never rely on whether they be open or not and I deeply hated the way that the owner berated the kind server for telling the truth to a nearly-every-day patron so I wouldn't waste the commute, then flat-out lied to me about their impending closure, leading me to make the drive over and over because I’ve been naïve enough to believe her. She was very persuasive in her dishonesty or I’d have learned my lesson right away.I’m pretty sure I gave this place a five star review earlier, here or elsewhere. If you see it, that five star review, disregard it. If they’re not permanently closed by now, which I’m 99% sure they are, I would never waste another drive (“fool me once” and all that) and I would definitely never give them a favorable review again.Somebody give me a shout if the place has changed ownership. I really miss that place and I’d love to return, but not to support that owner that was unkind to staff and smiled and made polite conversation with me while lying to my face.

Atmosphere: 5

Food: 5

Service: 5

Bad experience. The Hours of Operation were not up to date on Google, so we went to the restaurant, thinking we had plenty of time. We were told that the restaurant was closing in 20 minutes, to which I replied, 'That's not what Google says.' She didn't want to serve us so we left. The establishment had not updated their hours on Google. I submitted the hour change to Google and posted a picture so that others would not have the same experience. I called to speak with a manager or the owner twice, and I was informed that nobody was there to talk to me. I'm not going back, and I hope you don't have the same experience as me. A customer shouldn't have to update a business's hours; it's the business's responsibility not to set up a potential customer for a bad experience.

Service: 1

So good! I got the salmon toast, mushroom coffee, and chia pudding. A little expensive but I will be back!

Atmosphere: 5

Food: 5

Service: 5

The powerhouse smoothie is positively addictive. The vegan wrap is simple but very good and filling too. I like this place too much. It's not particularly expensive, I just go too often and get too much. Would be 5 stars but that's reserved by the site for veg or vegan only, a laudable thing.

It’s good but always so slow. Sometimes I don’t come here just because I know it’s slow. Today, I decided to stop in just for iced lattes thinking just iced lattes won’t take too long. I was wrong. 29 minutes for two iced lattes is way too long and they weren’t even busy. When I arrived, two people were sitting down and had already ordered and two people were in the process of ordering. I like this place and the owner is lovely. The person working was also pleasant and I do think they were trying their best. I really hope they take this constructive criticism and improve.9/23/23KMC Iced LatteMushroom Iced LatteReceipt time stamp: 11:28amDrinks served: 11:57

I had the Greek salad with smoked salmon and avocados and Wow it was amazing. Will come here more often before work.Also, they have an assortment of fresh drinks. Beet-L Juice paired great with the salad.

Atmosphere: 5

Food: 5

Service: 5

Recommended dishes: Kale Salad

Cute space, kind owners and staff! Everything I've eaten I've enjoyed! The food is still fresh when its delivered fortunately and the quality is always consistent!The Glow juice is delicious- I love the taste of pineapple in it. The chicken pesto wrap is perfect. The tuna wrap is great too and the olives complement the tuna so well. Definitely recommend getting a side with the wraps cause the wrap alone doesn’t fill me up.The poke is delicious and filling, we always get extra tuna. My bro kindly requests one more different sauce other than mayo as he doesn't like the saltiness of the brown sauce.The açaí bowls are delicious. Was so excited when I saw they added a bowl with even more toppings. I refrigerate it when I'm home and ~20 minutes before I'm ready to devour it, I put it into the freezer, then I add cacao nibs and peanut butter to it too! Such a yummy healthy snack/dessert.

Bought myself a delicious smoothie (Go Getter) at Kale Me Crazy after my workout. They were able to substitute the almond milk for oat milk, per my request. It was delicious and filling!

Wrap was decent but my smoothie was disgusting. It tasted like sugar and protein powder. Nothing healthy about it. Extremely slow service. No other customers in the restaurant but 3 people working in the back, yet still took forever to get my food and smoothie. Really disappointed as I thought I had found a healthy option in the heights.

Atmosphere: 1

Food: 2

Service: 1

Great find!1. Service was great, the people working there had great vibes and were really kind and patient with the questions I had.2. The atmosphere was nice and very clean. There is construction on the street it’s on right now so just be aware of that.3. The food itself was really good, my boyfriend had the poké bowl which was fresh, flavorful, and fulfilling. I had the Deluxe Açaí Bowl and it had a great flavor and it had a lot of toppings which just made it even better!I was so indecisive about getting the açai or the quinoa bowl so I took it to go and it is hands down a 5 star salad it’s so good!I will definitely return when I’m in the area!

Recommended dishes: Poke Bowl, A

Soooooo slow .... I came in for one quick juice to go and I'm going on 23 minutes , no exaggeration. There were 3 people at tables, so it wasn't busy .They had been served already.Nice staff . I saw couple people working so she wasn't alone. Idk ... maybe new or untrained . I never leave negative reviews but it's kind of ridiculous.

Super clean, tasty, and light! Definitely a hidden gem.

We had the Açaí Bowl. It was ok. For the price I'd expect better ingredients. Service and music were good. Nice to have healthy options in the Heights.

Kale salad was so ?? I went two days in a row lol. clean environment. Actually On my way back for a third day!

Wanted to get something healthy & came across this place. Don’t let the construction netting outside deter you from walking in. Ordered the boiled egg sandwich and the quinoa avocado salad. The sandwich was absolutely delicious with good quantities of egg and the salad was huge!Chatted with the owner Derek, and and he mentioned his goal of getting people to eat nutritionally healthy food while not compromising on flavor.The only thing I wish they had was real fresh Serrano peppers or jalapeños, but that may be a niche customer base wanting those.Will definitely return here, and for anyone looking for good quality, healthy food while not breaking the bank, I definitely give this neat little shop a thumbs up!