Cafeterias near Hampton, VA

“I entered the University Café expecting chaos, but the restaurant was pristine. A group of prawns scurried out of the gleaming kitchen, cackling among themselves. A handsome rat in a bow tie placed a starched napkin on my lap. I was seated next to two older gentlemen who sustained a witty repartee, critiquing every dish that they were served. “It’s not half bad,” one said. “Nope, it’s all bad!” replied the other. They laughed. Apparently, they are here every night.I heard the chef before I saw him. Loud bangs, crashes, and moos peppered the haughty murmurings of the upscale dining room—no doubt contributing to the proprietor’s mystique. A swordfish sailed past my head and smacked clumsily against the wall. “Herdy come da fishy wishy!” Our chef had arrived.Each night, the University Café offers a fixed menu featuring a wide range of items. On the evening that I visited, dishes included Chicky Catchy Turdi, Bork Chops, and a specialty item that is listed on the menu solely as a photograph of the chef, trapped inside a lobster pot. There are no prices, only pictures of the many feats of Hampton University’s sophistication, feats that dismantled the performance of traditional fine dining. Truly delighting. Eloquent. Amazing.“

“Food was actually quite good and quite a bargain. I tried to be healthy and hit the salad bar with my meal, but you should know this was the most expensive part of my meal…my $9.50 lunch would have been $5.55 without my small salad. A good price with it, a steal without it.“

“The Chicken and Dumplings were delicious . Was disappointed that there were pieces of bone in it.“