Dunkin' Donuts in Valparaiso

“Dear Dunkin’,
For the love of God, cut us off. Please. I’m begging you.

Our family has developed what can only be described as a Dunkin’ dependency. The drive-thru team doesn’t even ask for our order anymore—they just see the minivan pull up, sigh like it’s a custody hearing, and start brewing iced coffee on autopilot. My toddler thinks Munchkins are one of the four food groups. My wife’s blood type is now Cold Brew. I once caught myself humming the hold music from the app like it was a hymn.

The staff here is too good at their jobs. Smiles, speed, accuracy—flawless. And that’s the problem. You’ve made it too easy for us to spiral. This isn’t a coffee shop, it’s a casino for the sleep-deprived. We roll up every morning telling ourselves “just one more cup” like it’s not our fourth trip this week.

So yes, five stars. But also—Dunkin’, if you love us, let us go. Put our picture on the wall behind the counter like we’re banned from ordering. Stage an intervention. Otherwise, I’ll be back tomorrow at 7:42 a.m. sharp, pretending it’s “for the kids.”

Sincerely,
Your most loyal (and least stable) customers“

“I went to this Dunkin today to pick up donuts for two of my classes who earned them (it was for tomorrow). I wasn’t going to be in so I had to get them a day early. The manager (I assume) was so incredibly nice. He asked if I was a teacher and gave me a really great deal. Little did he know that I was picking them up early because my mom was admitted to the hospital with a possible heart attack, and I didn’t want to let my kiddos down tomorrow by not having them. He even offered me one of their Halloween buckets. He has no idea how much this little gesture helped me when I was in the verge of tears and going through something.

Thank you!“